


There's a Power in Letting Go

by queuedepoisson



Series: Lock and Key Series [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Dom/sub, F/F, F/M, M/M, OT4, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Polyamory, cuddly bdsm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-31 22:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3995368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queuedepoisson/pseuds/queuedepoisson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Any chance of falling back asleep had disappeared because Louis loved him the same way he loved Louis and that was too good a feeling to waste on sleep.</p>
<p>Liam spread out on the bed in a big stretch, soaking up the sunlight happily now.  It was seconds before Louis jumped on top of him to take advantage of all the prime tickle spots exposed, but Liam didn't mind at all.  He let Louis prod at his sides as he wheezed with laughter, giving them both a reason for the wild smiles on their faces that didn't have much to do with their wrestling.  Liam eventually got ahold of Louis' wrists, out of habit if nothing else when Louis went for a nipple, but Louis was undeterred and went in for a bite on his neck instead.  It took Liam pushing off the bed to throw Louis but he didn't go far, pressed against Liam's side with their hands still twisted together.  "What's all this?  I thought I was the one in charge around here now," Liam joked.</p>
<p>"Dear Liam, some things will never change," Louis replied with a snap of his teeth.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Louis and Liam have finally committed themselves to this new relationship, but nothing worth doing is easy.</p>
<p>A continuation of You Own the Lock and the Key.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiiii - I hope you didn't think I had left you. 3 1/2 months have passed but I've been working quite hard on many things, including a cross country move! Life is finally settling down and there are some things coming up I am *very* excited to get to. I ended the previous work as I felt it had come to a reasonable stopping point, the end of an arc if you will, particularly for those that don't read WIPs, and I know how very long this story goes. Even if I have settled on when it ends due to (no longer very) recent news. That's how it goes with canon fics that are running almost a year behind real time.
> 
> Em, kT, Kelty, and Emily continue to help me so much, poor long suffering things, with every aspect of this fic, from overall story to individual word choice to formatting and grammar. I could not do it without them.
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/qdpoisson/). I cry about Lilo a lot.

Liam woke up slowly the next morning, turning into his pillow to protect his eyes from the sunlight brightening the room.  They were in a different position than when they fell asleep, duvet pushed down and sheets tangled between them, but he instinctively pulled Louis closer with an arm around his waist, the only place they were still touching.  It wasn't until he heard Louis' laugh that he realized Louis was already awake, leaning against the headboard with a few pillows propping him up.  Reluctantly, Liam lifted his head and opened his eyes.

It was unlikely Louis had been awake for very long since he hadn't gone looking for their phones, forgotten by the couch last night, and was instead idly running his fingers along the short hairs on Liam's neck.  It tickled in a good way.  Liam smiled crookedly up at him, first at his sleep-mussed hair and still heavily-lidded eyes, and then at the two bruises on his neck.  The rest of the physical evidence of yesterday was hidden from view with Louis on his back and the sheet around his waist but Liam could see and feel the lack of nervous energy that normally kept Louis tense.

"Mmm," Liam started groggily, "why didn't you wake me up?"  He tried to scoot up on the pillows without jostling him, but Louis pulled his hand back into his lap anyway.

"Dunno, thought I might go back to sleep after a bit."  Liam entertained the idea for a second; enjoying a good lie-in together sounded nice, but he didn't feel sleepy for once.  He had finally napped away the jetlag enough that he could wake up in the morning properly, which inevitably meant he'd stay up too late tonight and start the process all over again.  His thoughts were interrupted when Louis reached for his hand.

Liam looked expectantly at him while Louis kept his gaze on their hands.  "I love you, too.  Like I love you in that way, too.  If that was in question."  Louis' tone was casual, matter-of-fact, and Liam tried to laugh but it just came out as a huff.

"I know."  Liam squeezed Louis' hand in calm reassurance, but inside he was bubbling over with happiness, which he was sure was spreading across his face despite himself.  Not only had Louis said it, but it hadn't been a sleepy confession like his.  It was in the broad daylight of morning, no post-orgasm haze clouding their judgement.  Any chance of falling back asleep had disappeared because Louis loved him the same way he loved Louis and that was too good a feeling to waste on sleep.

Liam spread out on the bed in a big stretch, soaking up the sunlight happily now.  It was seconds before Louis jumped on top of him to take advantage of all the prime tickle spots exposed, but Liam didn't mind at all.  He let Louis prod at his sides as he wheezed with laughter, giving them both a reason for the wild smiles on their faces that didn't have much to do with their wrestling.  Liam eventually got ahold of Louis' wrists, out of habit if nothing else when Louis went for a nipple, but Louis was undeterred and went in for a bite on his neck instead.

It took Liam pushing off the bed to throw Louis but he didn't go far, pressed against Liam's side with their hands still twisted together.  "What's all this?  I thought I was the one in charge around here now," Liam joked.

"Dear Liam, some things will never change," Louis replied with a snap of his teeth.  It was something Liam hoped would always be true.  That so much has changed around them and between them, but there would always be a comfort to the jokes between them, the silliness that enabled their friendship to begin with.

"So you mean you'll always be a pain in the arse for me to deal with."  Liam freed one of his hands to swat at Louis' bum, a weak attempt in the position they were in but it still made Louis' eyes clench shut briefly.  "Promise?"

Louis' brief pained expression relaxed into a laugh.  "Promise.  I promise to never stop annoying you and driving you up a wall and coming up with new games for me to beat you at."  That was probably the most sincere declaration of love Liam could imagine from Louis Tomlinson.  "But you have to promise to play them right, like that cheeky little round of Replay last night.  Since when do _I_ do the repeating?"

Liam caught Louis' little wink at the end, referring to how affected Liam had gotten by hearing Louis say _yours_ over and over.  And it was true enough.  On a normal day, Louis was usually the one calling the shots in their games, but not yesterday.  "It's about time I got to turn the tables, I think."

Louis sniffed with mock offense.  "Not sure that's how the game works, Payno."

"Well, fine.  A new game."  Louis' breath caught in his throat when Liam rolled him on his back and moved his wrists to each side of his head.  It was still light-hearted, not completely switching gears, when Liam nipped at Louis' collarbones and under his ribs.

Liam loosened his grip on Louis' wrists to move himself down the bed and Louis let them creep above his head.  "And, uh, what is this new game?"  There was a crack in Louis' voice that clued Liam into the distinct shift in mood.  His fingers were resting on Louis' sides, prepared for attack if needed, but now he slid them down to Louis' hips and the edge of the sheet that was beginning to tent slightly.

Without completely exposing Louis just yet, Liam tugged the sheet low enough to reveal the sharp line of Louis' hip, visible after training up the past two weeks before his match.  It was just below it that he chose to bite down, lingering longer than strictly necessary to leave a mark.  "'Mine,'" he growled into Louis' skin before biting down again for good measure, ensuring a dark bruise.

Louis arched off the bed slightly at the pain and exhaled, "Yours."  It sent a thrill straight through him every time.  Liam was going to keep doing whatever it took to keep Louis telling him that.  Positive reinforcement couldn't hurt, he supposed, as he dragged the sheet the rest of the way down and took Louis into his mouth.

Despite it already having been a busy weekend, it wasn't long until Liam had Louis clawing at the pillow.  Louis kept his hands above his head even as he begged Liam _more_ and _faster_.  He couldn't completely restrain the minute rolling of his hips as he got close to going over the edge, but Liam didn't make any efforts to hold him down.  While he gave into Louis' requests, his hand meeting his lips at an increasingly rapid pace, there was nothing submissive about going down on Louis in Liam's mind, the way he caused every noise, every reaction.  Whenever Louis fell silent for too long, Liam would pull off long enough to claim Louis as _Mine_ once more until Louis' control failed completely, mumbling _yours_ again and again before losing the power of speech altogether.

Liam was aggressive but they weren't in a scene. This wasn't about Louis being his obedient good boy, but it was about Louis being his, the same way he belonged to Louis.  For Liam, the lack of clear roles in this moment, free from the worries that kept him in check when they pushed new boundaries about how far was too far, meant he could completely bury himself in Louis' reaction when his hips punched off the bed one last time before crashing down.

Louis ran his hands over his face before letting them fall back at his sides, narrowly skating around the mess on his stomach from where he had popped out of Liam's mouth as he came.  "'Mine' is a good game.  I'm a fan."  Liam hummed in agreement but stayed between Louis' legs just a bit longer, running a thumb over the new bruise blossoming on his hip and nuzzling into his thigh.  "Think maybe you can get me a towel?"

Liam rolled over with a heavy sigh of accomplishment, trying to ignore the way the movement jostled his dick, not fully hard but not uninterested either.  He knew he could calm down the rest of the way with a few minutes concentration, but it would be easier without a still softening Louis next to him, covered in come.  "They're on the shelf in the bathroom."

"A tissue, then?"  Louis propped himself up on his elbows, hair even messier from how he had been tossing back and forth on the pillow, given over to the sensation of Liam's mouth on him.

Liam turned enough to look up at him.  "Those are in the bathroom too.  Try as you might, you will have to eventually get out of the bed."

"Wasn't planning on it, really.  If anything, needed you to leave so I could pull you back into it."   Louis reached down to lightly tug on Liam's hair.  "Maybe do something for you."

"That _was_ for me.  And if we do anything else, then _I_ won't ever be able to get out of this bed."  Stopping Louis from arguing the point any further with a wave of his hand, Liam pushed off the bed to go find a pair of clean pants, continuing to talk on his way to the closet.  "Break is only so long and you don't want to spend the whole time holed up with me.  It'll be back to that life soon enough."  As tempting as it was to stay with Louis in the moment, he needed to get Louis back to not just Eleanor, but Oli and his mum and his younger sisters and all the people he wouldn't see for months on end when their job pulled them both away from home once again.

When Liam returned, pulling a shirt on as he walked across the room, Louis was sitting up on the edge of the bed but he didn't look happy about it.  "C'mon, you can't be moping about spending time in Donny," Liam teased, sitting down next to him.

"Can I take your bed back with me to Donny?  It's the one I'm sad about leaving."  Louis flopped back dramatically like he could fall back asleep even with his feet on the floor.  Liam ran his fingers through Louis' hair, pushing his fringe the wrong way across his forehead, mostly to upset him, and Louis wrinkled his nose predictably.  He couldn't do much to fix it though with one hand cupping himself gently, trying to keep the mess off the bed, and the other trapped in Liam's grasp after his attempt to push Liam away.  "Okay, okay, I'm going."

Liam let go of Louis' wrist when he stood up, freeing him to grumpily fuss at his hair, but before Louis was out of reach, Liam caught him once more, by the hip this time.  He ran a thumb over the light marks on Louis' bum and scanned his eyes over the darker ones on his back, memorizing one last look.

Chances were they wouldn't fade completely by next week, but enough to not be distinguishable from those incurred playing football.  Hopefully the pain would fade sooner than that or Liam would feel an extra bit of worry each time Louis collided with the pitch.  Still, a standard football shirt would cover them all except the bruises on Louis' neck but he was sure Eleanor would gladly claim ownership of them until they were gone.  Possibly extend their appearance herself.

Louis waited patiently until Liam dropped his hand back to his lap, knowing it was time to move on for the day but already missing yesterday in a way.  "Uh, when you're done washing up, your bag with your clothes and stuff is in the front hall still.  I can bring it in."

"Right.  Cheers."  Louis gave an awkward nod to accompany his clipped response before heading into the bathroom, like he was shaking off the intensity of Liam's stare one last time.  The moment had passed and they both knew it was time to start moving on with their day and the parts of their lives separate from each other.

Liam did as promised, dropping the bag off on the bed before heading to the fridge in search of breakfast.  There were eggs in a back corner that weren't much past date and sausages in the freezer, more than enough to throw together a decent meal with some of the sandwich bread for toast, and Liam felt quite satisfied with himself by the time Louis joined him in the kitchen, kettle going and pan heating up.

Louis peeked over Liam's shoulder, tight against his back, long enough to approve of the breakfast options.  He tapped his fingers on Liam's side to the rhythm of whatever the song was playing in his head before backing off to let Liam start cracking eggs.  Liam concentrated on the task at hand but could hear Louis fiddling around in cabinets, piling the toast onto a plate, getting jam from the cupboard, grabbing mugs from the dish rack.  That was the extent of Louis' efforts, content to let Liam worry about rest, as he tossed their phones on to the kitchen table and sat down to flip through his own.  Liam serving Louis was a change of pace from the day before, but one Liam welcomed, the same as any other opportunity to take care of Louis.

Liam spared a glance or two at Louis, folded up with his legs under him as he read off random tweets to Liam, once everything was near finished.  The sweatshorts he had on were once Liam's but hadn't been seen in his bag for years and it wasn't really cold enough for the Adidas hoodie hanging off of him but Louis had probably chosen it for how it would hide his face on the drive home.  Liam had heard the shower run briefly, but that apparently hadn't included Louis washing his hair, just brushing it back roughly and throwing a headband on.

It was intimate in its casualness, completely different than the uncomfortable fits and starts of the previous morning.  That tension was gone, the buzz of anticipation that accompanied it satisfied.  It felt, for lack of a better word, normal, even if things were never going to be completely normal between them again.  There had been hints of it yesterday during their meals, familiar habits and easy conversation, and it was like the kitchen table had become a neutral place for them, where they could return to center, somewhere between best mates and something else.  When they were on tour, that place had always been on stage, where momentum kept them moving too fast to overthink things.  It felt important to Liam that they had places like that at home too, although Liam wasn't sure he'd ever be able to sit on his couch again without briefly missing Louis at his feet.

By the time Liam sat down with rest of the food, Louis was already loudly munching on toast and complaining about Liam's shoddy spreads selection.  The eggs were a bit burned and the sausage was a bit cold but it was nothing a bit of brown sauce couldn't fix and they both filled up their plates while continuing their back and forth.  Yesterday, Liam had needed to start the conversation and slowly drag Louis out, but no such effort was necessary now.  It was a pleasant reassurance to see Louis more relaxed, animated, and Liam felt confident it would last, long enough hopefully until they were back together on the road, but he would check in with both Louis and Eleanor to make sure.  He wasn't really sure how he'd be able to work something out if Louis needed him, since he still was wary about the upcoming few days and Sophia's possible reaction, but he would if Louis needed him.  At least for now, all Louis apparently needed was marmalade.

"You have two jars of summer fruits conserve, whatever that is aside from dressed up strawberry jam, but you don't have any marmalade.  What kind of establishment are you running here?" Louis griped, as he spread the offending conserve on his toast anyway.

"Oi, 'cause you're home all the time too, your place is so better stocked?"  The thing was, Louis' place was, because Eleanor lived there most of the year now.  It made Liam think that maybe he would buy a new place, one that was better for him and Sophia, soon.  Louis carried most of the conversation and had Liam giggling more than eating but the talk turned to work as it always eventually did between them.

They had talked about Liam's time in LA some already but there were more specific things Liam needed to share with Louis now that he had him alert and both of them with their phones handy, appointments booked and connections made.  It was a lot to keep track of, performing one album, promoting another, booking studio time for the next, and Louis was better at that portion of their jobs than any of the rest of them, always had been.  It even struck Liam as funny sometimes, the idea of Louis submitting to him, because while Louis was the first one of them to go wild or act out from impatience, Liam could always depend on Louis to be in charge when it counted, when he needed him, when the whole band needed him.  It had been like that even before Liam had realized it, when Liam was still fighting to lead alone before seeing how Louis filled the gaps he couldn't.  It was like Louis was even more comfortable in that leadership role when he had an outlet for the rest of his energy, a time when everything was out of his control.

"Okay, so it's not until next year but Jamie is going to be in LA and I already got some time booked.  Label said they'd probably send some other people over too, depending."

"Depending on?  Who's other people?"  Louis didn't mind bringing other people in when a song was almost finished or if he was just jumping in to help here and there on a track someone else was leading, but when it came to _his_ songs, his and Liam's songs, he only trusted a few, like Jamie and Julian, to help create them at the start.  Liam understood but as they continued to push the label towards what they wanted, he figured a few concessions couldn't hurt.

"I don't know, they sent a list, it's in your e-mail too."  Louis waved his hand as he waited for Liam to read it off his own instead.  It wasn't too many names but Louis' eyes narrowed at one name in particular, an industry writer Ed had worked briefly with and not had the most glowing things to say about.

Louis was already on a mission to get his way and Liam was annoyed with himself for bringing it up at all when Louis clearly hadn't checked any of his e-mails on break.  "Tell them no.  Like, obviously I still want to meet up with Jamie, but we'll do it earlier or something.  Somewhere outside of the studio where they can't get their hands all in it before it's even ready."

"Louis…" Liam warned as Louis held out his hand expectantly.

"Give me the phone.  I'll type it."  The held out hand became more impatient, gesturing manically.

Liam pulled his phone to his chest out of Louis' grasp.  "Pull it up on your own phone!  I told you, you were CC'd too."

Louis continued grabbing for Liam's phone in increasingly reckless attempts.  "No, gimme.  Can't use mine.  I'm downloading an important thing."  Liam used one particular aggressive reach, where Louis' bum completely left the seat of the chair, to steal Louis' phone from the table.  Turns out that 'an important thing' was an app, a stupid match three game.  Louis fell back to his seat with a frustrated huff while Liam held both phones above his head and tried a different tactic.  "Besides, this way, it'll come from your account."

Liam squinted, unsure if there was any logic behind that other than Louis getting his way.  "And I'm the more sensible one so they'll do it if I ask?"  It was hard to feel like the sensible one with his hands raised up in the air instead of eating his breakfast.

"Noooo," Louis gritted out as he tried again to reach and yet not committed enough to actually get up.  "You're the less demanding one so they give you your way when you ask.  And you get all grumpy when they don't."

Liam couldn't stifle a yelp of a laugh.  " _I'm_ grumpy?"  This time when Louis came at him, he ducked low and got both of Liam's sides in a tickle.  It was a flail of limbs that went from tickles to pinches to slaps, barely controlled chaos that still resulted in Liam's plate getting knocked hard enough that a sausage went skidding across the floor and Louis' mug wobbling before he spared a hand to stabilize it.

"Go pick up the damn sausage and throw it out, you idiot," Liam said around giggles that kept it from sounding like much of a command.  He hadn't told him to do it as an order or because Louis was serving him, but because it was his bloody fault he had one less sausage for breakfast.  It was only fair if he took one of Louis', he reasoned, reaching his fork over.

Louis stabbed the same sausage Liam had gone for with his fork as well, halting Liam's theft.  "You're the one who couldn't just let a mate borrow your phone.  Go get it yourself, because I'm telling you right now, if I go get it, I'm gonna rinse it off in the sink and put it back on your plate.  Waste not want not."  Liam rolled his eyes, but withdrew his challenge from Louis' plate.  "And besides, you have a dog.  Dogs take care of that sort of thing."

"I'm picking up Loki from my parents' tomorrow.  I'm not leaving a sausage on the floor until tomorrow."

Louis shrugged.  "Suit yourself."  He shut up long enough to take a bite of his eggs but gave Liam a smug smile as he chewed.  "Love you, Leemo.  And you love me."

All the fight left Liam and he blushed down at his plate because, damn it, he really really did, and if it was ever really a secret, it certainly wasn't now.  He wasn't sure he would ever give Louis the satisfaction of looking up and seeing just how obviously it was written on his face, but Louis kept up his chatter anyway, pausing only to finish the last bites of his breakfast.

"So, up to Wolvo tomorrow?  Means you're gonna miss Niall's party."

Liam had completely forgotten but at least had already begged off to Niall about going when he thought Sophia would be home.  Maybe would have taken her on a trip to France except the fact that she was already there made that a little less exciting.  A trip to Wolverhampton was a much less exciting excuse, but hopefully someday he would be able to explain why it was a much needed trip.  Liam instead turned it back on Louis.  "You're the one who should skip Niall's party.  Don't want to show up to your match hungover."

Louis smirked as he drank the last of his tea.  "I can handle myself, and failing that, Eleanor can handle me."  With that, he pushed away from the table and picked up the brown sauce and jam to put away.

Liam knew he couldn't let that stand.  With a dry laugh, he responded, "Louis, we've all got methods, but no one handles you."  Clearing what was left on his plate, Liam worked on catching up while Louis puttered around, clearing the counters as if he were at home.  It didn't feel quite right to say he was sad to send Louis off, knowing it had gone well and that they would see each other soon and that the lines of communication had been repaired.  Things were still so unpredictable and while that could be exciting, right now it was fraught, no longer hanging by a thread but not quite on solid ground.

It would be even worse once Liam was alone and left to think, struggling with the idea that being in control didn't mean he could control everything.  That even though he didn't need to be everything for Louis, he still wanted to be everything Louis needed.  That he didn't just get off with Louis, he gave him something that truly satisfied him, sated his craving.  Liam wished for once he could just do something without needing to be more than just good, but to be the absolute best at it he could be.

Liam stacked the plates into a pile absentmindedly, gaze focused on Louis as he moved around the kitchen, returning what was left of the crate of eggs to the fridge.  Before realizing it, he had taken a deep breath, the kind you do before speaking, but Louis heard and turned to him.  He had to say something, Louis listening and waiting.  Liam's insecurities were still near the top of his mind and he decided to test those improved lines of communication.  "Like yesterday," he started, sounding shakier than it should have, "it was good?"

Louis' expression flickered with worry before giving Liam a reassuring smile and returning to the table to pull Liam into a hug.  Liam, still seated,  rested his head on Louis' chest and let the feeling of Louis around him soothe him.  Louis buried a kiss in Liam's hair and it made him feel small, an odd reversal.

"When're you gonna believe me, Leem?"  Liam could hear the smile in Louis' voice, soft and sincere, a little breathless with how tight Liam returned his hug.  "So good."  Liam stood up without letting go, not ready yet.  It felt so nice, not particularly anything, just calm and comforting.  At least it was until Louis squirmed and pinched him right under his arm, breaking the quiet with a bark of laughter.

Liam rubbed the sore spot with one hand and shoved Louis away with the other.  Louis went with it, but only moved an arm's length away, still holding on to Liam's hand.  "I don't deserve to be treated like this in my own home," Liam complained.

Louis raised an eyebrow.  "You kicking me out, Payno?"

Sighing, Liam nodded and tried to release his fingers from Louis.  "Yeah, I am.  Honestly, I'm surprised El hasn't texted me, demanding I respect the custody agreement."

Louis doubled down on the bit, as he always would, tossing Liam's hand away grumpily.  "I'm not a thing for you two to draw up a rota for."  He put on a silly pout but he didn't fight when Liam pushed him towards the bedroom to get his bag.

Leaning on the door frame, Liam watched Louis repack his things, having managed a small mess just in the process of getting dressed.  "You're gonna call me if you need me, right?"

"If I need you?"  Louis waggled his eyebrows, obnoxiously unsubtle.

"I don't mean like that.  I mean..." Liam trailed off, not wanting to bring their light mood down, bring up the trouble so recently behind them, and settled on another joke.  "I mean, Eleanor will have no problem tattling on you if you're acting like a little shit."

"Don't worry, I'll run it all off on the pitch.  Make you both proud."  Louis picked up his bag and started to leave normally enough, but then threw his bag past Liam, skidding across the hall, so his hands were free to attack.  There had already been enough rough housing between them that morning and it was mostly a stalling technique so Liam didn't retaliate, holding Louis' biceps tight in his grip until he stopped squirming.

A loaded few seconds of silence passed between them, charged and breathless, before Louis smacked a kiss on Liam's lips.  "Alright, handsy.  Time to escort you off the premises."  Liam pulled him in for one more, slightly more serious, kiss before letting him go.

Louis heaved his bag over his shoulder and walked to the front hall without any urgency, Liam trailing behind.  It felt so formal to walk Louis to the door, but it hadn't been a lads night of FIFA and beer, shoving a hungover Louis off his couch before curling up on it himself.  It deserved actually saying goodbye, followed closely by a reminder of how soon they would be back together.

Liam had already opened the door before he realized he had lost out on his last chance to kiss Louis for the day.  Even just his front garden was the outside world, a world where you were never quite sure where a telephoto lens could see.

Liam still laced his fingers with Louis' to slow him down as he stepped down to the pavers.  No final words came to him so he went with simple.  "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Louis didn't look back at him, keys already in his other hand, but he ducked his head in a small nod and a smile spread across his face.  "Soon, yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no good reason that it has been so long between chapters, just lots of little ones that piled up. It's crazy considering I still do spend time on this universe every single day, but I'm working all over the narrative so it doesn't always add up to a finished chapter. But please trust me I have no plans to drop it anytime soon.
> 
> Thank you as always to Emily, Kelty, kT, Em, and, new to the party this time, Kati, helping out with the Britpick, as well as every single person who will entertain my ramblings about this verse on Twitter. I have a lot of feelings about lilo and will tell you all of them if you add me on Twitter: qdpoisson.
> 
> Hope to see you again with another chapter very very soon!

Liam had been absolutely right that he would get his sleep schedule twisted off balance again straight away. It would have been fine if he and Andy had stayed at the house with beer and pizza, but both were hungry for something more than takeaway. It would have been fine had they gone home when the pub closed, but it had felt so early and they hadn't seen each other in a while. Now that they had been at the club long enough to accumulate a reasonable collection of glassware in front of them, it probably wasn't going to be fine when Liam woke up in the morning and needed to navigate a car some 150 miles.

They were far away enough from the dance floor that they could still manage a conversation but it had slowed down from the rapid fire catching up at the pub. Every so often Liam found himself staring at the wall and Andy would bring him back to reality with some dumb banter about whoever was a booth or two over. Liam was fighting to stay present but the alcohol was starting to fight back, pushing his thoughts into the same loop. A loop that reminded him that being so happy meant he had something to lose. That in two days he would know for sure how everything would turn out but until then, it was like every best and worst case scenario existed at once, playing simultaneously in his head if he didn't actively push them aside.

"You were in such a good mood earlier, I had almost thought Sophia had come home early, but I guess if she had, you wouldn't be out with me, yeah?" Andy's obvious elbow nudges were as annoying as intended but it was true. Liam didn't normally venture back to the clubs until after a few days in bed with Sophia, making up for lost time. "So which is it, good or bad? Happy or sad? See, I can rhyme, I can take over your job. We should switch."

Both. He was both. Two more shots and he probably would have spilled everything of the last few months. Worse things could happen, Andy could keep a secret, but to tell him before he had told Sophia felt like a betrayal and he couldn't guarantee Andy would look at him the same. Louis and Liam's friendship was different than theirs but not so very much. Louis knew Liam so well from close quarters and songwriting and impossible shared experiences, but Andy had Louis and the rest of his bandmates beaten when it came to time. And those times weren't all good. Andy had been the one who was there all those times Sophia _hadn't_ said yes, was the one there when X-Factor hadn't said yes either.

"See, I'm losing you again." Andy snapped in front of Liam's eyes, startling him into a manic giggle. "I don't know whether the problem is too many shots or not enough. Think I should be prepared for either, just in case." Andy waved a girl over who handed them two test tubes containing more alcohol to add to their collection.

One more shot and he might just spill his guts, figuratively. Two more and maybe literally. He could trust Andy but it didn't matter if he couldn't find the words, stuttering stupidly as he tried.

"Don't hurt yourself, man. When you're ready to talk about it, you'll find the words. Although from past experience, I'm probably not the one you need to talk to." Andy was as a good listener as anybody, but advice was not his specialty. When it came to the Sophia issue back in school, his answer had always been the same, why didn't Liam try with another girl? But there had never really been another girl, only her. And now there was a boy.

Liam finally managed some words. His mouth was dry and sticky from the saccharine shot and he wondered just how long he really had been silent, nodding and laughing but not speaking. "You're a good friend," he slurred out, "but maybe that should be the last one."

"Whatever you say, Payne." Andy was a good friend. They wouldn't be in the club they were in, in the section they were in, if Liam hadn't been a big deal pop star, but they would probably still be drunk on a couch somewhere, blowing off some steam between exams like normal mates at uni, even without all the rest of it. He helped Liam remember what it was like outside of all that. And after days wrapped up in worry about the status of his new relationship and how it would mesh with his old one, it helped Liam remember who he was outside of that dynamic. "Maybe go dance some of it off, yeah?"

It was a good idea. Liam's knees had been bouncing under his hands for awhile. "Water first, then dancing. Then probably some more water and a cab?" Andy nodded and clapped him on the shoulder before pulling him up to standing, steadying Liam until he regained his equilibrium. Water would definitely help.

\----

Liam gulped down the second water bottle Andy had put on his bedside table before crashing out somewhere else in the flat the night before. A good friend indeed, and the best way Liam could repay the favor would be to sneak out as quietly as possible, while fighting a sizable headache that the paracetamol was just beginning to soften the edges of.

It was easy enough to stay quiet as long as Liam stayed confined to the bedroom, moving slowly to avoid a tenuous situation with his stomach. He managed his way to the shower, leaning on the bedside table, then the doorframe and sink in turn, until the water spray, cold and bracing, could do most of the waking up for him.

After twenty minutes of that, it was much easier for Liam to stand on his own as he brushed the cottony feeling out of his mouth. His headache had only partially abated, but enough so that he could tick off the list of what he needed to do as he got ready to leave: get clothes on, get a change of clothes in a bag, throw some toiletries in the bag too. His mum's house wouldn't have complimentary toothbrushes lying around like a hotel suite and he'd rather not smell like her shampoo.

It was gathering up those toiletries that he noticed the missing bag under the counter, praying it was nowhere Andy would have tripped over the night before. The bag was tucked under the edge of the bed, barely visible if not for how Liam had thrown the whole duvet off in the night and kicked it to the side on the way to the bathroom.

He hurried to grab it a bit faster than his headache would have preferred and did a quick check of the contents. Everything was accounted for except the lube, which he found stashed in the bedside table. Liam tossed it in with the rest and zipped up the bag before returning it to its spot in the cabinet. While he couldn't imagine any reason Andy would have checked his bedside table drawer the night before, at least a bottle of lube wasn't exactly damning evidence when your girlfriend had been away.

He thought about the rest of the flat, if some obvious sign was left lying around, waiting to expose everything. But no, they hadn't used restraints or any toys the day before, the belt that still laid on the floor next to the cupboard door was just a belt to most people, and the panties Louis had worn were at the bottom of the laundry hamper, not that Andy wouldn't just assume they were Sophia's considering the negligible difference in size.

As he tossed anything from the floor into the laundry basket, in efforts to further cover the lacy knickers, Liam made a mental note that laundry was the priority when he got back home, first the sheets and then the rest. Sophia would know the pair weren't hers in a second and even if Liam's planned talk went well, that might be a little too much too fast. Liam fished the folded list from the pocket of his discarded jeans from the day before and threw them on top last. The piece of paper would probably stay on his person until he had memorized it word for word.

Liam picked up the pace, pulling on joggers and his trainers quickly, pausing only when a loud snore startled him, confirming that Andy had never made it past the couch that night and would probably still be asleep long after Liam left. It was no bother since Andy had his own key, other than Liam would have to be quiet while loading up the car so as not to wake him up. At best, Andy might be sick like he was whenever they had a plane to catch hungover, but at worst, he might try to press again about what Liam had drank so much to not think about. The problem was it probably wouldn't take much pressing at all and Liam was almost looking forward to the solitary drive, where at least he could talk to himself freely about it.

Liam thought he was going to make it out the door in the clear, but as he heaved the last carrier bag off the entryway floor with no idea where he was going to find room for it in the rapidly filling boot, a loud cough turned his head. It was clearly meant to catch his attention since he heard it over his headphones, which he quickly pulled out with one hand as he walked back to the living room.

Andy had barely lifted his head to look up at Liam and shielded his eyes from the sunlight streaming in from the front door. "Don't recognize that one. Am I getting a 1D exclusive?" It was one of Liam's worst habits, singing along with anything and everything, completely unaware most of the time.

"Shit, I'm sorry. Didn't even realize I was doing it. Was planning on letting you sleep and sending you a text to lock up."

"Eh, it's alright." Andy dropped his head back to the couch arm with a thud.

"Well, don't worry about getting up, this is the last bag," Liam waved the bag holding a heavy crystal piece for his grandmother in Andy's direction sarcastically.

"Wasn't planning on it." Andy laughed despite his closed eyes that couldn't have been that closed considering he caught the pillow Liam tossed at his head. It was right on the mark, but Andy tucked it behind his head triumphantly. "Cheers, g'nite."

Liam laughed as he walked away to finish with the car. He didn't put his headphones back in and was mindfully quiet as he snuck back in to get his keys from the kitchen counter. He stared for a second at the living room, at the back of the couch Andy was sleeping on, the same couch Liam could still picture Louis kneeling next to but also reminded him of dozens of late night movies and drinking games. Louis fit into all the corners of his house, the tour souvenirs and band stuff tucked next to keepsakes from Liam's childhood, sharing shelf space with figurines Sophia's mum had bought her since she was little.

Andy managed to startle Liam once more when he sat up enough to look at him over the sofa. "So this trip, is it gonna help with taking care of whatever was up last night or running away from it?"

"I'm not running away from it anymore. It'll all be okay in a few days." Liam repeated it over and over to himself through the drive.

\----

When Liam finally reached the turn off the motorway for home, he let out a deep sigh of fatigue and relief. The first hour of the drive hadn't been too bad, singing along to a playlist on his phone, as if he could somehow be louder than his headache, and it mostly worked, keeping him wide awake. But then his phone lost signal and he was left singing along with whatever popped into his head.

Mostly that was the new songs they were working on. The words were still out of order, as they weren't sure which line would go where or which bits would be kept, but he sang the ones he knew and mumbled or improvised the rest. Louis' fake filler lyrics to make him giggle were the ones stuck in his head more than anything else, but he eventually settled into humming one of the guitar parts Niall had started but wouldn't be finalized for weeks.

Distracting himself couldn't work forever and it wasn't long before he fell right back into the circular path his mind has been running in, but this time willing himself to end up at a different conclusion. None of this would work out if he couldn't make himself believe it would. So, for the last hour of the drive, that was what he concentrated on, determined to think of reasons it would work because there was nothing he wanted more.

To start with, Sophia was the one who hadn't wanted to be exclusive, so maybe she would be happy he had a reason to no longer push the issue. And if he was going to see someone else, it wasn't someone outside of their circle, a privacy and safety risk, it was someone she knew and liked and trusted. At least Sophia thought Louis was alright, that he was funny. Sometimes. At least she loved Eleanor and he wasn't fucking her.

It was crass, but Liam knew Sophia could have a jealous streak and while he couldn't imagine her distrusting such a close friend, it couldn't hurt that his relationship with Eleanor wasn't sexual, although maybe more intimate than he had ever planned. He had yet to consider how it might change Sophia and Eleanor's friendship and yet he knew now it was inevitable that it would change.

He had never quite understood Sophia's jealousy since it wasn't based in envy or insecurity, confident in herself and sometimes overwhelmed by just how in love with her Liam was, but she always noticed the girls around him. Sometimes when she was tipsy, she'd go as far as to comment, whispering in his ear about the figure of someone else in the club. At first Liam thought it was some kind of entrapment, tricks he had seen girls dating his mates pull, asking if another girl was prettier. And sometimes Liam was even happy to oblige such fishing, telling her that while the model's legs next to them were, in fact, very nice, they were nothing compared to hers. But other times, especially the more she had been drinking, it seemed Sophia was more interested in her own opinion than his.

He'd never given it much thought, but he was realizing there were a lot of things he hadn't given enough thought to. Maybe their agreement to be nonexclusive was meant to be an open door to really explore things together, not just a free pass for mistakes, but Liam had never known it was unlocked.

If he hadn't been exhausted already when he left home, he was by now, but he put on his best popstar smile as he pulled into his parent's drive and his mum opened the front door. He knew he didn't have to pretend in front of his family but at the same time, he didn't want them to worry and it faded into a real smile as soon as he got out of the car to be crushed in a hug between his mum and dad. By the time Loki skidded out the door, having made quick work of the gate as soon as he wasn't watched, Liam's eyes were scrunched up in the crinkles he couldn't fake.

There were shouts of "hello" and "my boy" and a general cooing over him for a minute, all mixed together so Liam couldn't quite make anything out of it, as pressed together as they were. He finally managed to get himself enough space to scoop Loki up from where he was desperately trying to be noticed, bouncing between their legs.

"Liam, he's really too big for that now," his mother chided, scratching at Loki's neck anyway. "What if you hurt yourself, with all that thrashing around?" Loki's legs shook with excitement from the attention, but Liam just squeezed tighter.

"But Loki doesn't know that and he deserves hugs too, right?" Liam buried his face in the dog's fur. He couldn't remember if it had been weeks or months, time on tour never quite lining up with real life, but either way, it had been too long. There were times Liam wished he could take Loki on tour with him for comfort, but he knew his hands were too full most days. That was doubly true now, he laughed to himself, hiding his face one more time before letting him down.

Liam waved them over to the car to hand out a few of the packages and carry the rest inside himself. Loki jumped inside as soon as there was enough room, Liam's dad having taken the first two big bags from him and tutting as he carried them in. "You shouldn't buy all these things, you just being here is enough."

"I don't mean to, but I buy things when I miss you. It's a wonder there's still room in this house to sleep." Liam threw his clothes bag over his shoulder and managed the rest of the bags in his fist, which gave Loki even more room to curl up. "There's even presents for you, boy, but those have to wait til we get home. You're excited to go home for a little bit, yeah?" Loki barked happily at the tone of Liam's voice and jumped out as soon as Liam stepped away from the car.

Liam's mum closed the door once the boys, Liam, his dad, and Loki, were all gathered in the front room, packages filling the sofa now. "You're taking Loki with you back to London? But I thought you left in a week."

"Little less than, but Sophia will be back in London tomorrow so she can bring Loki back next time she comes to Wolvo, or drop him with Roo or something. It just feels more like being home if there's a dog in the house." Liam realized what he had said and quickly turned to face his mum, apology at the ready. "Not that this doesn't feel like home, I just mean that home versus this home."

"Liam, you're a grown man, you have your own home and your own life on your big world tour. So grown and I'm so proud. My best son." She crowded him for another kiss and clucked over him, shaking her head at the deep dark under his eyes that he could normally keep hidden with Lou's help. "I've got all sorts of things to unpack now that you've spoiled us, so let me spoil you. Why don't you go upstairs and grab a quick kip and I'll have your tea ready before you know it?"

"Let me do something to help, the whole point of being here is to spend time with you lot," Liam argued as he tried to push past his mum to the kitchen. He had hated doing the washing up as a kid but now all he could think about was all the Sunday dinners missed.

"No, no, I won't have it," she insisted just as stubbornly back. "It won't do if you're yawning between every word and getting cross at everything." At the mere suggestion, Liam choked back a yawn so it was possible she had a point. "See, now do what a mother really wants and mind her."

"Alright. Yes, mum. Whatever you say." Liam accepted one more kiss, stooped down so she could reach his forehead, before turning up the stairs. Loki followed close behind, circling around Liam's feet dangerously so it took all his attention to make it to the bedroom safely.

Liam's designated room in the house was really a guest room with a random mish mosh of decorations from his childhood room, bits of memorabilia from the last few years, and impersonal guest room standards, like the rarely washed duvet with its fancy scrollwork design. He folded it back carefully before laying down as not to create any more work for his mum than necessary. The sheets would already be a lost cause as Loki jumped on the bed and spun in circles before lying down, leaving a circle of shed hair around him. The bed was comfortable and Liam could feel himself drifting off as soon as he had his toes tucked under the warm pile of dog.

It couldn't have been a very long nap, sun still high in the sky outside the window, but Liam's phone was buzzing with texts. Liam was worried he had forgotten somewhere he had committed to be or gotten Sophia's flight wrong by a day, but most of the texts were from Louis, in addition to one from Sophia, one from Eleanor, and a picture from Niall. He opened Sophia's first since it was clear Louis was going to take more attention once he started answering back. Sophia's was just a quick note in response to Liam's good morning text hours ago.

_Sorry I've been so busy, about to take a meeting but tomorrow I get to see you!!! Miss you so much xxx_

The next one he checked was Niall's – predictably the picture was of a golf course – and then Eleanor's, which was just _I am so sorry lol_. Two more from Louis had popped in during the time it took him to check the others so it was pretty easy to guess what she was sorry about. There was no crisis going on, other than not enough people paying attention to Louis. The last ten or so texts from him had just been rude words, then rhyming with rude words.

**Dont you have better things to doooooo. i was sleepin**

Liam added some sobbing emojis to the end to get his tone across.

 _Multitasking_  
_Can get a cuddle , catch up on telly , eat a sandwich , and text you all at once_  
_Very talented , me_  
_sorry you're still so worn out from the other day :)_

It was easy to imagine the scene, Louis laying in Eleanor's lap with a plate on his chest holding a crisp sandwich, one of Louis' terrible reality programs on his oversized TV in the living room. Liam blushed and tried to think how to quickly change the subject when he realized that meant Eleanor was also probably reading their conversation. It was still an adjustment to be so aware of the third person in on their secret.

**Hope you arent, big match tomorro!!!!! excited ?**

It went back and forth for awhile between them, Louis occasionally relaying commentary from El. Louis was predictably all bluster about the match which meant he was likely bricking it and would get a touch too tipsy at Niall's party to deal with it. Liam related his sleepy trip to Wolverhampton and his plan to drive back the next morning before Sophia got home. They joked about how they would probably pass each other on the M40 and how flying would probably be more efficient for as often as they made the trip to and from London, but otherwise they skirted the topic of Sophia's arrival.

While Louis knew it had to happen, he was probably even more worried than Liam because he couldn't do anything to change whatever resulted. He certainly couldn't argue for Liam putting the discussion off, not when he was curled up on the sofa with his own girlfriend, who aside from knowing the whole situation, had practically acted as couple's counselor for them. Eleanor brought it up more gently when she started texting Liam from her own phone after one of Louis' school mates had shown up for some video games.

_tmw is gonna be a busy day for everyone huh?_

**spose so**

_do you wanna talk abt it?_

Liam knew this was his one chance really, since by the time his family would be through with their tea, Louis and Eleanor would be at Niall's party, but it was awkward trying to broach any serious subject while he was staring at the ceiling in his mum's guest room.

**dunno, you think i shouldn't be worried?**

_i think telling her is better than not telling her  
i think it will work out_

Once again, Liam felt like Eleanor had some secret knowledge that he didn't that gave her such serenity, even when she had a close friendship on the line. Maybe Eleanor could understand Sophia in a way he couldn't, some way that gave her faith where Liam was uncertain. He felt more comfortable asking her about Louis, an area where he knew for sure she had a more thorough knowledge than even him.

**louis been good tho?  
did he um say anything. about his back?**

_yeah he's good. i think he's proud?_

**what do u think**

_intense? if i touch one of the marks even lightly, he kinda goes out of focus, you know?_

Liam did know and he knew that pride too, had seen it on Louis' face before, satisfied by how much and how well he could take one of Liam's punishments. Even with a warm feeling spreading across his chest at the memory, a wet nose that tried to shove itself under his hand anytime he rested it on the bed made it easier to keep the conversation decidedly not sexy.

**its not an all the time thing**

_thats good too_

He asked a bit about when she would next be visiting them on tour and if they had any plans already in place for next break. The texts dropped off after a while and Liam could feel himself falling back asleep in the lull, rolling away from the dog and curling in on himself, when his phone buzzed twice in quick succession and he opened his eyes once more. They were both from Eleanor.

_he still likes it when i press into the marks  
gets him so hard , dying for it_

Liam sat up with a jolt, trying to comprehend the sudden change in tone, eyes wide and pulse jumping slightly.

_my favorite part is when he begs for more tho , gets me so wet_

Liam was trying to compose a neutral but somewhat panicked response when a fourth text, this time from Louis' phone, showed up at the top of the screen.

 _LOUIS_

Liam's shoulders sagged in relief. Being caught in a Tommo prank was a much more familiar position for him than what he thought was happening at first. He sent a dozen blushing emojis to Louis' phone followed by another dozen hiding monkey faces to Eleanor's for good measure, trying to communicate just how embarrassed he was, even if Eleanor would never know his initial reaction to the texts was more primal than he'd like to admit. Eleanor's number was the one to respond.

_I have custody of both phones once again! haha can't leave him alone for a minute_

**u rly can't**

_problem is… i can't say any of it wasn't true so i think we need to go  
still have a bit of time before the party, you know?_

**have fun?**

Liam felt strange about being privy to it, rather than a few smileys suggesting the idea. That strange jealousy twisted in his stomach about having to share Louis, but then he remembered El's comments about Louis' marks, marks Liam had left, and how he reacted to them. Neither of them would be able to ignore that he had been there and was, in a way, still there with them.

_one last thing - um  
do you think i should let him come after being so naughty?_

It was possible that it was Louis again, but it sounded like Eleanor. Liam bit his lip for a moment as he considered.

**Make him wait til the drive home aftr the party. He'll like that**

She agreed with a wink and Liam set the phone down on the bedside table as he tried to catch his breath. It was dizzying that here he was in his mum's guest room, thinking about his involvement in his friend's sex life and getting off on it a little. It should have been the furthest thing from his mind, focused on his family time and Sophia's return tomorrow, especially considering any relief tomorrow from welcome home sex was in doubt once he told her, not that he would even consider waiting to tell her until after.

Before Liam pushed the whole thing out of his mind completely, he held on to the confusing feeling in his belly as his mind formed an image, El's legs wrapped around Louis' waist and her hands on his back, nails tracing the marks or thumb pressing into one of the bruises. He could practically hear how Louis would gasp before biting down to keep the rest of his noises inside. Once he felt like he had imagined it perfectly, he locked it away for later.

The bed shook underneath Liam when Loki bounded off of it and down the stairs at the sound of the can opener. If it was time to feed Loki, it'd probably be time for the whole family to eat soon. Helping with that would keep his mind from wandering hopefully. Liam dropped his phone into his bag and stood up, giving himself a rough squeeze and reciting scales in his head until he had managed to calm down enough to be decent, before jogging to catch up with Loki.

\----

Liam wondered whether he made the right choice, leaving his phone upstairs. There probably weren't any missed texts from Sophia or Louis, but he kept imagining he could hear it buzzing as he tapped a knife against the kitchen table. The places were mostly set but he had slipped into a bit of a daze before finishing. The chicken roast his mum had thrown together was almost ready, just as she had promised, but Loki was already halfway through his canned food and would be ready for scraps by the time the bird reached the table. His mum came and bumped a hip against him to shake him back awake.

"Still sleepy, or something on your mind?"

"No, no, I'm awake, it's really nothing." It shouldn't have surprised Liam his mother could read his face so easily. She came and put a hand on his elbow anyway.

"Nothing, huh? Nothing you want to talk to your mum about which means I know exactly what it's about. You'll get to see her tomorrow, yeah?" She returned to the kitchen to collect a serving dish for the table, continuing to talk as she went back and forth. "It's okay to miss her. That girl's been your whole world since the day you saw her practically."

"Not that far!" Liam insisted, regardless of the truth. "But close, yeah. Right now, things are just –"

"Mmm, the whole 'not serious' thing?" she asked as she set the roasted carrots down on a trivet and scooted Liam and herself onto the bench surrounding the table. She brought him into a half-hug as she continued. "I'm sure she'll be ready to settle down soon, but don't rush it. You're both so young and what matters is that you're happy."

"I am happy." Liam could feel his worries slip away as his mum comforted like he was a small child. It made all the complicated bits fall away and Liam could finally see what really mattered instead of what was cluttering his thoughts. Sophia had always made him so happy, happier than he ever thought he would be, but he probably would never have become the man who could win her without Louis teaching him how to let go and relax. He needed them both and he was sure there was a way he could have them both. The specifics didn't matter as long as he had them in his life. "I really am happy."

"See, you don't need me to tell you it will work out. You know it will. My smart boy." She got up and headed back to the counter for one last dish while Liam straightened the last of the silverware into place and moved on to fixing drinks. His mum never opened the bottles of wine he sent her, like they were something precious to be saved up, so he made a point to always open one of them when he was there.

Liam's dad crowed in excitement as Liam popped the cork on one of the bottles, passing through the dining room on his way in from the back garden to go get washed up. "It's like getting an extra holiday in the middle of September, isn't it? All the favorites on the table and fancy wine too." His dad wasn't the only one looking forward to the meal. Liam had eaten his share of fancy restaurant meals but his favorite was still his mum's roasties, followed closely by KFC.

Once the roast was on the table, the three hurried to take a seat and Loki predictably took up watch by sitting directly on Liam's feet. Liam dug in quickly, before he'd even finished filling his plate, realizing how little he'd eaten during the day while nursing his hangover and then sleeping. It meant he probably should have been more aware that his mum was about to make up for lost time with a full "what's going on in your life" assault.

"So we talked about Sophia, what about Louis?" Liam choked on a bit of veg before his mum continued. "I saw Zayn and Perrie the other day, when I was standing at the checkout. She really is so lovely, isn't she?"

He really needed to do something about his knee jerk reaction when Louis' name came up, considering how often they were a package deal regardless of anything beyond friendship. "She's a good girl, but I thought I told you not to look at those rags." Liam was mortified of what his family might find in the pages of the tabloids, considering even the small bits that were true could be bad enough without all the lies too.

"It's not like I pay them any mind, you just see them when you walk by. It's nice to see a bit of what's going on with everyone. Like Harry seems to be quite fond of LA, made a lot of friends out there?" Liam tried to change the subject but ended up quieted into another yes, mum as she went on. "Those things really do make far too big a deal out of a young lad out with his friends having fun like he should. I wouldn't have thought anything of you doing the same at Harry's age, except of course, your kidney and all."

"Enough, enough, I know." His mum always treated him a bit more fragile than he really was, even when he truly had been poorly when he was very young. "But yes, Harry does like LA. Went to dinner with him before flying back. And Niall's doing great with the rehab after his surgery, everyone's great. Louis actually has a football match tomorrow." The best way to avoid questions was to try and lead the conversation himself.

"It's a wonder that boy became a singer instead of a footballer, he loves it so much. Are any of you boys going?"

"Uh, not this one, but maybe the next one." It wouldn't be the same watching from the stands after the thrill of running on the pitch together as they had done for Niall's charity match and Louis was always quick to point out all of the weaknesses in his game when it was just the two of them, but there was a pride Liam couldn't deny in watching Louis get to do something he loved almost as much as performing.

"I suppose Sophia wouldn't much like to be dragged to a noisy match first thing after coming home but remember, you boys have to make time for each other too, just as much as you try to for us. It's important you stay close."

Liam stabbed at his food, blushing for no reason he could explain. "We're plenty close, mum, don't worry." Liam employed his time tested strategy of keeping the dinner conversation off him by asking about Nic and Roo, as his mum recounted stories he had already heard directly from his sisters over FaceTime chats, and going straight through every cousin he could remember the name of, which admittedly wasn't many. It was enough to get them to pudding though.

"Liam, help me bring in the pie from the other freezer, yeah?" Liam scooted his chair back with a loud squeak and hurried after his dad, already halfway to the garage. His mum had apparently splurged on two large pies from the M&S case, more than the three of them could eat but it made it feel like a special occasion. When his dad turned around to hand him one, Liam could see his wet eyes even in the low light. "Don't mind your mum a bit, she worries and frets because she's your mum, but we really couldn't be prouder."

"She's right to worry, I should come home more often."

"No, no, we miss you, but just tell us the time and place and we'll be there. Anywhere in the world you want us, we'll be there. There's nothing like getting to see you on stage." The hug his dad gave him was awkward as they both tried to balance their pastry boxes but it was suffocating nonetheless.

"Love you too, Dad."

His mum was already fussing about the crushed corners on the boxes before they even made it back to the dining room but the pies were unharmed and all three had a slice of each, leaving Liam holding his stomach as they watched Strictly on the couch together.

Loki was already waiting for Liam on the bed when he finally trudged up the stairs, spread out over Liam's pillow so that it was warm when Liam laid down. His phone was still buried at the bottom of his bag but he pulled it out to charge it while he slept. There were only two texts.

One from Sophia: _Only one more sleep xxxxxxx_ and one from Louis: _i want it made clear , there are two new bruises i will not be held responsible for ;)_

Liam stared at the ceiling thinking about how he was going to phrase things tomorrow, slightly more productive than his previous bouts of worry and infinitely more optimistic, but he still wondered how far he'd even get before having to call Eleanor because Sophia wouldn't believe a word of it. It was going to be a long drive with plenty of time to think tomorrow, and longer if he didn't get some sleep, but at least he'd have a traveling companion this time, reaching across the bed to scratch at Loki's neck and get nudged with a wet nose in return.


End file.
